I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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