Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
