Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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