Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
