Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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