"it" just moved
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
