coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
