why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
