I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
