I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
