We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
