he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
