Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize