You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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