Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
