Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
