hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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