9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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