my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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