He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
