Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So much rum. So many feels.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
