I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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