is your mom at the bar?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
