I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
