Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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