It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
