ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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