Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
