Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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