mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
