I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
