I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize