I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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