Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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