So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
