Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
