what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
