bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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