guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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