Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
