yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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