you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
