It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
