Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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