forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize