You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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