the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do vagina's smell?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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