I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
