well you can't waste a boner
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just pee around me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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