I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
