That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
