Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
