Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
