my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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