oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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