Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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