Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
