There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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