margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
