She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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