I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
