he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize